deathscyther | IC Inbox

Well... honestly, I don't... really have anything going on anymore. I haven't seen Kohaku since she moved, she might not even be here anymore. Vriska... I'unno what happened there, but I know she's gone. I really haven't gone out of my way to make friends so right now you're...

[God, it feels so lame to admit it, especially with what Akira's going through, but...]

You're pretty much all I've got.

[A sad smile, knees drawn up to his chest.]

I'd be an idiot to not be a good friend to the only one I've got right now.

[The corners of Akira's mouth twitch up a bit further. Even if Duo's acting just out of self-interest, it's a refreshingly honest answer, after his conversation with Ryo.] Hey... Come here.

[Gently, he pulls Duo into a hug. It's nice to have someone to depend on, who depends on him in turn. They're only -- more or less -- human, and there's only so much they can deal with alone.]

I'm not going anywhere, so don't worry.

[There's no reason to hide such things anymore. He knows he's shot himself in the foot by keeping others at arm's length here. There's still a chance for him to fix that, but if he fails at it then at least he'll still have Akira for better or worse.

And. Oh. Affection. Right, that's something friends do, isn't it? It shouldn't be as startling as it is, and yet he can't seem to chase off the slight tightness that squeezes at his chest.]

Good.

[A breath, then:]

It really is his loss, though.

[Akira lets the hug linger a bit longer, if only because he thinks Duo needs it more than he does.]

To be honest, I kind of expected it. [Just not in such a... brutal way. What hurt most is the lack of consideration, not even for a moment.] I guess I should have known better than to get my hopes up.

[Ryo is Ryo, but besides that, he should be used to rejection by now. His parents left him behind as a kid, and two people he loves have rejected him. Maybe he's just not good enough for anyone.]

[It's... weirdly nice to be held.

Of course it only occurs to him now just how touch-starved he really is.]

Expected or not, he coulda been nicer about it... I don't think you deserved to be treated like that.

Well... He always does or says whatever he wants.

[And that's how they argue. Akira can't change him, only try to temper the worst of his hurtful tendencies.

Finally, he lets Duo go.]

I'll be okay. I guess I just need to figure out some things.

[Duo shifted back a bit, fiddling with the end of his braid absently.]

Does he really want to hurt you, though? 'cause that seems to be what he's doing pretty damn well right now.

[He's worried. Even if Akira tells him he'll be okay, Ryo obviously left him devastated enough to tear up the bedroom pretty bad.]

... you can tell me if you're not okay. Or if there's something I can do to help?

[Akira sits back again, looking away as he thinks of how to explain it.] Ryo's my best friend. He always wants to protect and look out for me. We'd do anything for each other. But... he hurts people because he can't feel for them.

[That's all Akira. If anything, he's almost dependent on Akira and his capacity to feel the things that Ryo can't; it's a relationship that's difficult to describe without experiencing it firsthand.]

You don't have to do anything, Duo. You're already helping.

[Greaaaat. A sociopath with good intentions. Even Heero can actually feel for people, even if he never knows for sure what to do with those feelings.

He was never really suspicious of Ryo, and the guy wasn't going around harming anyone physically so even though his attitude was somewhat off-putting Duo hadn't seen a reason to be concerned before.

Now, though...]

I'm still worried.

I can deal with him. Really, it's okay.

[Miki had always acted a little suspicious of Ryo, too, and for good reason. He can't really blame them for worrying, especially when he knows what Ryo has done and is capable of.]

[Shit. Why is this getting to him? He's the last person to feel protective of someone, especially over protective. Of course Akira can take care of himself!

Knowing that was hollow comfort, though. Physically, yes, but what about emotionally? Mentally? It seemed cruel, to force himself to continue dealing with Ryo after having his heart broken like that.

His fingers curled tightly around the end of his hair, free hand on his lap also tensing in to a fist.]

You deserve better than that.

[Akira rests a hand on the fist in Duo's lap, gentle. He really is grateful to Duo for caring, even if it's better that he doesn't get involved.]

I'll give him some space for a while. Whatever he does next, that's up to him.

[A sigh, shoulders sagging but his fingers relaxing.]

Just... be careful. Please. This place fucks us over enough. Don't start doing it to yourself, okay?

I won't. I promise.

[Akira has known Ryo way too long for that -- he's not some lovestruck stranger who is willing to let Ryo treat him however he wants. Avoiding him seems like the best thing to do, at least in the short term.]

Good.

[What was that.]

Geez. Sorry. I don't know... what got me so worked up over that...

[Embarrassing enough that he's turning red now, looking away as if somehow not staring at Akira dead on will make his behavior less baffling.]

[Akira laughs a little on seeing his embarrassment, rubbing the back of his neck.]

Hey, don't be embarrassed. It's nice that you care so much.

W-well... it's like I said. I don't exactly have friends here. It took a war to make the friends I did have back home.

[A glance back, through the mess of his bangs rather than directly, his cheeks still red and warm.]

I guess I'm more attached to you than I realized...

If you get a crush on me, too, I wouldn't blame you.

[Akira jokes, ruffling Duo's hair and getting to his feet. He's cute when he's blushing, he can't help it.]

Wh-- h-hey! That's--!

[hUFF.

Damn it!]

And so what if I do?!

[Akira had been turning to head to the kitchen to grab a snack after vegging on the couch for so long, but he actually pauses in surprise at that.]

What, seriously?

[He was kidding!!]

Ahhhhhhhhhhh...

[Duo.exe has stopped working.

Restart?]

Iiii... uhhh...

[That sure was his foot in his mouth, and his face so red he might as well be a tomato. The deer in headlights really completes the look.]

I-i-it... it-- ... j... oke... ?

[That's a hell of a reaction for a joke, Duo.]

You do like me!

[Akira laughs, both because Duo's reaction is funny, and because it's a relief simply to have someone who likes him without it being one-sided on Akira's end. He walks back over to sit down again.]

S-sorry, I'm not laughing at you to be mean, it's just... I'm happy.

Oh god...

[He's not being mean, no, but Duo still feels like he needs to go outside of bury himself in a hole. He puts his face in his hands, groaning loudly.]

That's it. I'm going back to the forest. Just let me die there.

What are you gonna do, live in a tower again and let down your pretty hair?

[His hair is always something he's liked about him, come to think of it.]

Would you rather I die of embarrassment right here? You'll be the one dealing with my body!

[His hair is fantastic, though.]

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